Near-death experience

From my Tumblr

"If you close your eyes right before the train hits, your brain will think that you have died. Some people find calmness in this."

As I did so, I literally felt a tug somewhere, which honestly caught me by surprise. For a split second, I was in a trance, yet aware of M83's sultry tunes still playing in the background. I did feel calm, sort of peaceful, at one point.

But I couldn't keep my eyes closed long enough. I felt goosebumps and breathed heavily. I was surprised that I was able to bear, if not anticipate the feeling of knowing that I was still sitting in my room, seeing my art materials scattered on my bed, the racks of hanged pieces in my closets, and the MS Word tabs open, containing information needed for a news article I'm currently working on.

Sometimes you need this sort of push to realize that you are actually capable of finding further motivation for whatever it is in your life that may have kept you at standstill. There are things that require your engrossment, effort and existence. I realized that I am still more than willing to undergo all that before my time ends.

So I was pleased to find out that I could never completely lose that sense of wonder or that sense of faith, despite its occasional and often severe dwindling. Eventually, I would find solutions and answers, if I would let myself do so, or better yet, if I would keep moving and find whatever that is for myself.