How I floated in the dead space

From my Tumblr

It is about two o’clock in the morning. I am down to the last few words on the final page of a book I have deeply fallen in love with.

As I place the hardbound cover on the unmade sheets of my bed, I stare at the bland ceiling and the barrenness becomes more enchanting than it otherwise claims itself to be.

Something is tugging my sides yet I have not the faintest idea what it exactly is. Words seemed to form and erupt from the dusty, forgotten corners of the room and float in the dead space. It’s as if the world has a message for me. I start dreaming of things I don’t want to remember and things that I find most meaningful.

In the dim of the yellow light, I observe the stillness of my shadow and wonder how much of life I’ve learned about and how much I’ve yet to see. I get up, look out the window and see that the world is asleep, but I have never felt more alive, aware of how everything feels so heavy.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say or what my mind is capable of, yet I want to scream it to anybody who would understand. I feel disturbed as I am dealing with something I cannot fully comprehend, at least not at this very moment, or maybe at least not anytime soon. I’m floating in this space filled with much loss and uncertainty; in a world of maybe’s and probably’s.

Stuck in a trance, I shut my eyes, feel the lines on my face form, and try to drift off in peace and let the space engulf me.